We were at a local kids’ event recently, and I pulled out my phone to take a picture, not just for the memory but because I wanted to share it. I thought other moms might want to see how fun the event was and maybe check it out next time.
As usual, I was trying to get a shot that didn’t show any children’s faces. It took a few tries and some awkward angles, but I’ve gotten pretty good at that part.
Then I heard one of the event hosts mention they’d be taking photos to post online. And that’s when it hit me: I can work around my own boundaries when I’m behind the camera. But I can’t control anyone else’s.
It isn’t the first time I’ve thought about this. Lately I’ve seen more and more group photos. Dance recitals, karate belt ceremonies, school performances. Sweet moments, posted with love, filled with kids who may or may not even know they are online. And it has left me wondering if it is even possible to keep a child’s face offline anymore. And if it is, is it worth the effort?
Why Some Parents Don’t Share Their Kids’ Faces
There are a lot of reasons parents choose not to post their kids’ faces online, and they are not always the ones people assume.
For some, it’s about consent. Their child is too young to understand what it means to be online, and they’d rather wait until that child can decide for themselves.
For others, it is about privacy or safety, like protecting their kids from being recognized in public or simply wanting to keep family life offline in a world where almost everything is shared.
And then there are growing concerns about technology. With tools like AI making it easier to manipulate photos and even voices, some parents are thinking ahead: What will happen to this image once it’s out of my hands?
Sometimes, it’s all of the above. Sometimes it’s just a gut feeling. And sometimes, like in our case, it’s a little bit of all those things mixed together.
None of it means they’re judging anyone who does post. Most of us are just trying to strike a balance between sharing the sweet stuff and protecting the people we love the most.
I still share pictures of our life online. I love showing what we are up to, especially when we are out exploring or finding fun local events. But I’m intentional about how I do it. I take the photo from behind, crop it creatively, or add a sticker if needed. It is not always convenient, but it helps me stick to the boundary we have chosen for now.
The Gray Areas
It is one thing to set boundaries at home. It is another thing when your child is part of something bigger, like a class, a team, or a performance.
That’s where it gets really hard.
Because no matter how clear you are about your family’s approach, you can’t control what other people do. You can’t stop another parent from snapping a group photo at a karate recital. You can’t stop a dance studio from sharing highlights from the end-of-year performance. You can’t stand up in the middle of a school play and say, “Hey, please don’t post that.”
There’s not really a rulebook for this part.
And I get why people share those photos. If I’d spent all season driving to practice and cheering from the sidelines, I’d want to share a proud moment too. That’s not wrong.
But what do you do when you have made a different choice for your family? Do you keep your child from participating? Do you pull them out of group photos? Do you say something, knowing you will probably be met with confusion or worse, eye rolls?
I don’t have the answers. I’m still figuring it out.
What I do know is that it is in these gray areas where the boundary starts to feel the heaviest, not because I’m second guessing it but because holding it often means being the only one who is.
Is It Even Worth It?
Some days I really do wonder.
Is it worth the awkward conversations? The double takes when I ask someone not to post? The effort of cropping, sticker-placing, and taking five versions of the same photo just to get one I feel okay sharing?
Is it worth being that mom who gently steps in at a birthday party or opts out of a group shot?
Because the truth is, it can be tiring. And isolating. And sometimes I wonder if I’m making something hard that doesn’t need to be.
But then I think about how fast this stage of life moves. How short the window really is when I get to make these choices for her. And I remind myself: this boundary won’t last forever. But while it’s mine to hold, I want to hold it with care.
Even if one day she rolls her eyes and posts selfies nonstop, at least I will know we gave her a little more time. A little more privacy. A little more space to be a kid without an audience.
And to me, that still feels worth it.
We’re All Just Figuring It Out
There’s no one right way to parent in the age of the internet.
Some families post freely and joyfully. Some avoid it altogether. And most of us are somewhere in between, trying to weigh what feels right, what feels safe, and what feels doable in the swirl of everyday life.
Maybe you have been thinking about this too. Maybe you have felt that twinge of discomfort before posting a group photo. Or maybe you have wondered if you are overthinking it, if drawing a line is even possible anymore.
This post isn’t about doing it perfectly. It’s about paying attention. About asking questions. About leaving space for different choices, even when they don’t match our own.
We’re all just figuring it out. And I think there’s a lot of grace to be found in that.
Columbia TN Kids Guide 
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